Looking around to see who else might hear you besides your friend, you decide to share (ever so softly, mind you): “Hey, you know what? I believe in magic…”
A glazed over stare. Or worse yet, condescending pity, “Oh that’s alright dear.”
Annoyed that you just got patronized, you now feel just a little emboldened. After all, they’re supposed to be your friend, right?
In a hesitant whisper you muster up the courage to declare: “Well, I don’t mean like fantasy. You know, something’s waking up in me. And I’m starting to learn to X.” [fill in the blank – meditate, or connect with the Earth or elementals – whatever it is your soul has been drawn to explore lately].
The pitied look changes suddenly to one of judgment or even revulsion.
Suddenly you feel paralyzed by this fear called REJECTION. Shame and Persecution anxiety are not too far behind.
You want to crawl inside a hole. Unsure if it’s because you can’t handle the idea of not fitting in. Or if high school memories of hushed whispers as you walk by (that could only mean one thing – they’re talking about YOU!) start to roll on auto-play in your head.
Unfortunately, too many of us have experienced some version of this scenario above.
Or maybe you haven’t. But the very POSSIBILITY that it MIGHT happen has you suffering from CLOSET SPIRITUALITY.
The gripping fear lurks in the darkness – that if you dare to speak up and share who you are and what you’re in to, you just might be unaccepted, judged or outcast!
Or worse, someone immediately puts you in a neat little box with a label on it that makes THEM feel more comfortable.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gotten the old: [wink] “Oh don’t worry. I totally get it. Pagan, right? I’m all about pagan…really…” [double wink just to be sure I know that they know what I’m trying to say…]
Um, Except that they don’t!
You want to correct them. To explain or clarify. But what’s the point?
They’ve already put you in a box and shut the door to understanding YOUR INNER SACRED TRUTH that you really wanted to share with them.
That inner truth wasn’t about being pagan or ANY belief or religion or anything like that.
It’s not even really about Faeries, or Earth Magic, or playing with oracle cards, or doing ceremony under the stars in your backyard, or even meditating for guidance and inspiration (although we at Faery Light like do all those things and more!).
It’s about finding YOUR OWN PATH TO SPIRIT.
It’s a calling that’s felt by your heart and soul. And the meaning and connection you’re yearning to touch into are often unnamable.
And it lives in your blood and your bones – it’s an intrinsic part of YOU!
It’s not about Buddhist. Nor wiccan. Nor Hindu. Nor Christian. Nor Muslim. (Although all of these ARE WELCOME – because what I’m talking about excludes no one!)
Beyond labels and organized religion – it’s ancient.
AND IT’S SIMPLY CALLED BEING HUMAN!
And it’s so friggin’ magical and wondrous that you want to scream it from the rooftops. Or at least share it with your closest friends and family.
But the fear of what they might say or how they might see you is too much for you to bear.
So you hold your tongue. You bide your time. And you remain SILENT.
Well, the truth is – STAYING SILENT IS KILLING YOU.
Oh sure, maybe not literally.
But every time you go along with something that doesn’t align with you, a little part of you dies inside.
Every time you don’t speak up when you feel or think quite differently (not to fight or convince but TO SHARE), your light dims just a little bit more.
Every time you’re pretending to be really in to a shallow, watered-down conversation what you’re really saying is “I don’t matter.”
For those of you suffering from what I call closet spirituality, you must know that the struggle is only as real as you make it be. Silence MIGHT keep you safe inside your comfort zone (operative word here being ‘might’).
But at what cost?
The price of silence is your own inner power, truth and authority. Because every time you edit your truth, you give your power away.
For many of us, persecution anxiety is a fear that we’ve carried over from other lifetimes, other experiences. But fear only has power over you that you give it. The only way any fear can hurt you is if you let it dictate how you will live and what you will say and do.
What is not speaking up COSTING YOU?
Have you been afraid to explore something for fear of what others will think?
Have you been holding back, not speaking up or sharing your feelings and experiences of your spiritual path?
Believe me, I understand. Because I too once kept quiet where I should have spoken up. But I don’t anymore.
Because every time I do share my truth, I know that I’m telling someone somewhere in the world that they are not alone. They’re not weird. And no, they haven’t lost their mind.
And maybe if I can be brave and speak my truth, then hopefully it will inspire someone else who hears this to be brave and speak theirs too – whatever that truth may be.