Staring outside my kitchen window, I was witnessing a massive conclave of interdimensional beings of Gaia gathering. They were watching me, and it had the most unsettling effect on my nervous system.

Not because I was being observed. Not even because of the large number of them before me. But because, in that moment, I realized that they weren’t only watching me, they were watching all of humanity…

Hopelessness, despair, grief, shame, anxiety are running rampant. Systems and structures are collapsing before our very eyes. It is clear that we are at a pivotal point.

But I am not coping…

“Coping” to me suggests holding on tightly, trying to keep it all together, when it’s all going to shit, both within and around you. It’s hanging on so damn tightly to some thread of your reality that you become obsessed with that one thread, unable to see anything beyond it.

And so I reiterate, “I am not coping…”

On any given day, especially this past summer, I might have cried, wailed, screamed, wallowed — did I mention screaming…?

But this was not “coping.” This was what consciously dying looked like.

That being said, back n February of this year, the complete opposite was true — I WAS COPING LIKE MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.

I was holding on with everything I had. I was wracked day and night with suffering, confusion and incredulity. Seemingly overnight it all had become so hard, as if I were trying to run a marathon in quicksand in the pouring rain in shackles.

So what was the cause of such anguish? Well, it boiled down to my life, namely my business, was feeling f*cking hard, downright impossible really. I was exhausted and totally burnt out.

I kept telling myself it was just a phase, as any solo-preneur goes through, of working really hard with little reward. That the intensive phase of planning that I was in – the Avalon Mysteries series, the upcoming journeys — was a beginning, a portal to a new phase of my sacred work in the world – one of ease and joy.

But here’s the truth, there exists a very fine line between the portals of life and death. So fine, it’s exceedingly tenuous. Life and death have so many similarities that, if one is not paying attention, it’s easy to confuse the two.

Rather than seeing that time period for what it was – the death of an era of my soul expression – I held on tightly, tethered to the sinking ship.

I will never forget the anguish, suffering and pain I experienced during that time.

When I finally did let go, a tremendous burden was lifted from my shoulders. Unencumbered, my heart was now free to grieve, weep, wail and feel. Feel the pain of loss and the death fully.

From that point on, I would “cope” no longer! And what a relief to no longer have to hold up the walls of a crumbling house.

But now I am watching the world “cope.” I think the world, myself included, has been coping as a collective entity for a long time. But what I’ve learned is that coping is not sustainable. Furthermore, it distracts us from what is trying to break free and emerge. Really, truly.

I considered this as I stood looking out the window at this massive assembly of otherworld beings. The spirit world has been very busy. For days, weeks, months even they had seemed quiet to me. But when I really tuned in, I could see they weren’t quiet at all – they were in focused preparation. The “gird your loins” and “take up your mantle” kind of preparation.

And now they are watching us, urging us even to make our necessary preparations: are we doing our inner work and healing? How are we processing and integrating the energetic turbulence? How are we processing our grief? Are we using this time wisely, to get strong and fortify our nervous systems?

We are about to enter a tunnel of chaos. One that includes massive shifts of epic proportion. These adjustments will occur physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically and even on the soul level.

While the issues of social justice, political upheaval and environmental destruction are painful, intense and impacting all of us in a wide range of ways, the root cause of the crumbling of these structures is that the Earth and her people (all people, not just us human folk) are going through a death/birth process.

On the other end, however, is an extraordinary emergence. But in order to emerge we must “die.”

So during this time I can honestly say I am no longer “coping.” And I hope you’re not either.

I am no longer holding on to what is dying. Instead I am riding the tail wind, sometimes sailing at the helm, other times being tossed about by the winds and waters of chaos, yet all the while, firmly anchored in my unshakeable truth:

I am not alone…

I have chosen to be here for these times…

And my essence will not be squelched — indeed cannot be — for it is who I am at my core.

What is your unshakeable truth? How are you anchoring in your essence to navigate these times?