At first, I believed I’d coasted through the dragon portal aka eclipse season, but out of nowhere, a multitude of questions and doubts around personal value surfaced.
Even though I’ve done a ton of work on value, this was a whole other layer connected to an ancient story thread⸺even more ancient than the past life featured in my newly-released memoir.
If you’ve been paying attention, I’ve alluded to this particular soul thread over the last couple years using the image of the Dragon and the Rose, and lovingly referring to it as the Faery Magdalene lineage.
However, I’ve never spoken to it outright. At first, because it was so tender. This Faery Magdalene story thread of my personal mythos has broken the surface of my psyche with one shattering seismic shockwave after another.
It’s a tale worth telling, and I hope one day I will have the fortitude, skill, and privilege to tell it in its full glory.
For now, I’m content to share this highly condensed, broad brushstroke version with you.
Picture this if you can:
Months of exhausting inner work . . .
Soul-searching and -shaking inquiry. . . .
Shadow work within friend circles to work out the parts we play, past and present. . .
A series of mind-reordering healings . . .
All culminating in a final showdown of timelines colliding, uttered soul scripts, and breaking my own ancient spell that had actually held me bound.
Perhaps you can see how, after all the above, I might have drawn the conclusion that I had completed this harrowing chapter.
But for every action we take on the inner planes, the universe invites us to take equal action on the physical plane, thus creating a mirroring or bridging of the worlds.
So if one does a ritual declaring herself uncloaked, no more hiding or withholding one’s full faery medicine and magic from the world, no more letting the “outer” dictate what is shared or not shared, then apparently one must also will be presented with opportunities to choose exactly that in her physical world actions.
Thus enters Diomira in the unexpected final and most recent act.
I had noticed myself muttering things like, “if people can’t act right, then I just won’t share” and while at first glance it may seem like a lurking fear of persecution talking, I knew the energy pointed to something else hiding under the carpet of my unconscious.
Because underneath the fear of persecution or fear of rejection or fear of what happens when I’m misunderstood, was an even bigger fear: that what I share might be disrespected, manipulated, even “stolen” and distorted.
It’s unfortunate, but I’ve had several past clients or students actually plagiarize, copy, or share my work.
But my concern was not confined to that.
Also lurking was a paralyzing terror that what I shared would be misused or denigrated in some way.
All of these fears stemmed from this ancient wounding, when teachings were distorted and I was not able to prevent this from happening. Not only was I unable, but actions I took to protect the sacred medicine codes led to my exile from an ancient sisterhood.
The heartbreak of betrayal I felt in that lifetime reverberates and echoes into the present day.
Which is why for years there’s been a push-pull between needing to share this Sacred Work and create healing between human and faery, while also feeling a tremendous amount of unconscious mistrust, reluctance, and desire to hide.
So when the question of value came up again, it ran deeper than believing myself valuable. It was as deep as my soul asking:
“If I share this most sacred medicine and transmit the ancient future codes of faery, will it be valued, honored, and received with deep love and caring awareness of the power, sacredness, and even healing history it carries?”
And controlling that outcome is what I finally had to let go of.
A terrifying invitation was before me: To offer my faery magic, freely, no strings attached, without fear of repercussion or intent to control how it will be seen, received or [I say this last one with gritted teeth and a tiny cringe as it was my biggest rub] honored and respected.
So I will no longer withhold the energy that wants to flow freely from my heart’s temple. I no longer need to control how it lands and what others do. For the actions and reactions of others have no power over me any longer.
Yes, I will continue to use discernment and share responsibly.
But my main responsibility is in how I hold this medicine and deep magic, how I tend it, and the love with which I offer it to those who choose to dance with the Book of Faerie and receive its Twilight Keys to unlock their own soul’s remembrance and sacred enchantment that is their birthright.
Thank you for witnessing my ever-evolving journey of sharing my love and magic in service to you and the world.
Deep love and respect for this journey of remembrance,
Diomira Rose